Do as I say, not as I do

I know what you’re meant to do. I just don’t always do it either. 

I tell you a lot of things you’re meant to do in the garden. 

Thin your seedlings. Tie things up. Mulch. Prune. Feed. Deadhead. Stay on top of it now so it doesn’t become a problem later. All excellent advice. All correct. 

And yet….

There are plenty of days where I look at my own garden and think, well… that’s definitely something I told people to do three weeks ago. 

This isn’t because the advice is wrong. It’s because knowing what to do and actually doing it are two entirely different hobbies. 

The mythical gardener who does it all 

Somewhere out there is a gardener who completes every task at exactly the right time. Their seedlings are perfectly spaced. Their weeds never go to seed. Their mulch is always topped up. They probably also fold fitted sheets properly. 

I’m not that gardener. 

I have a job, kids, and a life. And sometimes, despite my best intentions, the garden slips from “thriving ecosystem” to “I’ll deal with that later” faster than I care to admit. 

Advice is not a legal obligation 

When I say, “At this time of year you should really be doing X,” I’m not issuing a court summons. 

It’s guidance. A helpful nudge. A “this would be ideal if you had the time, energy, and no other responsibilities” kind of thing. 

If you get it done… amazing.

If you don’t…the garden will not call the authorities. 

The ‘must-dos’ vs the ‘it’d be nice to do’ lists

There are a few things I always prioritise. Watering plants when they’re desperate. Planting things at roughly the right time. Harvesting before everything bolts, rots, or is eaten by something faster than me. 

Those are the non-negotiables. 

Everything else lives on a much looser list titled Helpful, But Let’s Be Real. Pruning exactly when you’re supposed to? Nice. Perfect mulch coverage? Lovely. Tying everything up before it flops dramatically onto the path? Ideal, but not always happening today. 

Sometimes it happens next week. Sometimes next season. Sometimes I just step over it for three years. Yes, really.  

The illusion of constant competence 

I don’t want you thinking I’m out here effortlessly achieving everything I suggest. I know what works. I also know what gets bumped down the list when life intervenes. 

And that’s normal. 

Gardens are forgiving. They don’t expect perfection. They don’t care if you missed a week. Most of the time, they’re just pleased you showed up eventually. 

Go easy on yourself 

So if you read one of my posts and think, ‘I haven’t done any of that’, please don’t panic. You haven’t failed. You’re just gardening like a real person. 

Do the important stuff first. Everything else can wait. There’s always next week. Or next season. Or that magical time called “when I finally get around to it.” 

And if all you manage today is standing in the garden, coffee in hand, mentally noting everything you should do… congratulations. You’re doing just fine.

Did you know?

Peonies can live for more than 100 years, which means there are peonies quietly blooming away that have survived at least one world war, disco, low-rise jeans, and the brief but traumatic era when everyone painted everything beige. Somewhere, an ancient peony has watched horses replaced by cars, man land on the moon and handwritten letters replaced by smartphones. When it comes to longevity, peonies are legends.

What to do in the garden this week

Northern hemisphere

• 🌷Remove spent tulip and daffodil flowers, but don’t cut back the foliage until it’s completely died off. The bulbs need the green foliage to generate energy for next season. I agree, they’re unsightly as they die off. The solution? Interplanting. I interplant mine amongst bearded irises, which take over the display and grow up around the dying bulb foliage disguising it rather well.

• 🪴Rotate your pots and containers occasionally so growth stays even.

• 🧺Feed your hanging baskets constantly - they’re essentially decorative teenagers.

• 🏡Open greenhouse doors early in the day to prevent it from becoming a Victorian punishment chamber.

• 🌿Pinch out soft tips on bushy annuals to encourage fullness.

Southern hemisphere

• 🌷Plant spring flowering bulbs.

• 🏡Clean your greenhouse glass or polycarbonate panels. I’ve just removed a build up of green from mine and it’s looking so much better.

• 🛏️It’s a good time to top up raised beds. Over time soil in the beds settles and organic matter like compost decomposes leaving your beds looking a lot less full. I tend to top my large raised beds up a bit at a time. When I lift and divide a section of perennials that spot gets a top up even if the rest of the bed doesn’t. That way, it’s more affordable and less back breaking and just operates on a continuous cycle of rejuvenation.

• 🪴If you’ve got tender plants in pots and you live in areas prone to frost, don’t forget to move them to a more sheltered spot. I move several of my pots and containers into The Whitehouse over winter.

• 🌱To get you through the winter gardening slump, order seeds early to avoid all the good ones being sold out. Then you get to spend winter dreaming about how beautiful the garden will look when spring and summer roll around again.

What’s new on Behind the Garden Gate this week?

• 😩Nitty Gritty: this week there’s an article all about the art of looking like you know what you’re doing and not giving up when the going gets tough. It’s easy to feel like a gardening failure when things don’t go how you anticipated. But failures are just part of gardening. We all have them. So, if you’re feeling a bit down about your gardening success, or lack thereof, then read this.

• 🐞Nitty Gritty: this week it’s all about aphids. Dastardly little critters they are too! This article tells you what they are, why they turn up, and various methods of dealing with them depending on your preferences.

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m in the process of migrating my articles to Substack. It’s so much better set up for publishing this type of content, and I also think probably a much better user experience for you too. The articles I publish arrive straight to your inbox rather than you having to make an effort to head onto my members-only page to find the content. It’s just easier on Substack. I’ve realised that now, and so I encourage any of you who would like to receive my content in that way to head over and subscribe over there. I have free and paid options. Free subscriptions give you my free Sunday newsletter each week plus all the photos and notes with little tips and guidance that I add to my feed every day. Paid subscribers get all that, plus two additional articles each week with much deeper dives including garden knowledge, design tips, plant care advice, the odd recipe, and a bit of humour. You’ll find me as The Manic Botanic on Substack - not Behind the Garden Gate.