Weeding gets an unfair amount of bad press. In my opinion.

People talk about it like it’s the absolute worst part of gardening. The drudgery. The chore. The reason they “don’t have time” for a garden.

But frankly, I think people need to get a bit of perspective. There are far worse things in life than weeding.

For example….

Walking uphill

I truly do not understand people who enjoy walking uphill. Why? Why are we voluntarily climbing things? “The view,” I hear you thinking. And my answer to that is, “there are perfectly good helicopters thank you very much”.

Walking uphill is immediately followed on my personal list of human misery by walking downhill. Not because walking downhill is difficult, but because it means you had to walk up the hill in the first place.

Weeding, by comparison, is delightfully stationary.

Doing the dishes

Another vastly inferior activity. In my opinion.

Dishes are easily the most boring household chore ever invented. They reproduce mysteriously, arrive uninvited, and they demand immediate attention. No sooner have you finished them than they respawn. Everywhere.

In that sense they’re quite like weeds I suppose.

But there’s an almighty difference. Oh yes….there is. When you finish weeding, the garden looks glorious. Order has been restored. Lines are crisp. Plants can breathe again. Emotional satisfaction level = EPIC.

When you finish the dishes… you have slightly damp plates.

Eating Brussels sprouts

If faced with a choice between eating Brussels sprouts or weeding two acres of garden full of deep-rooted docks and dandelions, I wouldn’t even hesitate.

Pass me the spade.

Brussels sprouts are small balls of boiled disappointment. A tiny cabbage that’s gone terribly wrong. I’d happily spend the entire afternoon wrestling docks out of clay soil before voluntarily eating a plate of nature’s abominations.

And while we’re talking about unpleasant gardening tasks, we should address….

Hedge pruning

Hedge pruning is vastly worse than weeding. In my opinion.

You stand there with vibrating machinery above your head, arms turning to jelly, your heart rate reaching the sort of extreme tachycardia normally accompanied by someone yelling “charge the paddles, stat!”. When you finally finish, you’re buried in a mountain of clippings that somehow spread themselves across an area roughly the size of Luxembourg.

Weeding, on the other hand, is calm. Civilised. Almost meditative.

There’s a rhythm to it. Pull, shake, toss. Pull, shake, toss. The garden quietly improves while you work. And at the end of it, everything looks better.

Photo: demonstrating the volume of clippings for those unfamiliar with Luxembourg. I suppose I should be thankful there’s not enough to cover Germany.

Fringe benefits

My chickens consider weeds to be the culinary equivalent of hors d’oeuvres, mains and pudding all on one plate. The moment I appear with a wheelbarrow (or three) full of weeds, I’m instantly worshipped as the Patron Saint of Dandelions and Other Delicious Rubbish.

So, when it comes to weeding, and I’m channeling my inner Aretha here, all I’m askin’ is for a little more R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

It’s exercise. It’s cathartic. It’s deeply satisfying.

And most importantly, it’s an extremely adequate excuse to avoid doing the dishes, folding the washing, cleaning the bathroom, or walking up hills.

Did you know

Botanically, bananas are berries, but strawberries aren’t! True berries come from a single ovary of a flower. Strawberries, with seeds on the outside, are actually “aggregate fruits.” Who knew? Not me. Until now.

What to do in the garden this week

Northern hemisphere

🪻You can give your lavender a very light trim if winter damage is visible, but don’t cut back to woody stems unless you like ugly crying up until such time as you realise you killed it and have to pull it out. Ask me how I know.
🍃Depending on your location, it’s probably still a bit cold to direct sow some tender plants. Start tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, basil and zinnias off indoors.
🌸It’s still a good time to divide summer and autumn flowering perennials if they’re overcrowded. Autumn is a better time. But spring will do, if you didn’t get around it back then.
🌼Your tall perennials are probably starting to poke through and get established. Stake them now before they’ve got a lot of growth. It’s much easier when they’re small and results in less damage than when you realise they’re about to flop, or already have, and have to try and add the stakes later.
🌷Keep on mulching. You’ll thank your very wise self in summer.

Southern hemisphere

🍂 Autumn is THE best planting window of the year. Yes, you can plant at other times, but autumn’s a great time to do it. The soil’s still warm. The weather’s not too hot to stress the plants or trees. And they have time to establish their roots before winter. Then when spring rolls around, they’re all ready to burst into new growth. Autumn is the ideal time to plant peonies - just remember they’re cold climate plants and need freezing temperatures over winter to perform their best in spring. So if you live in a climate where winter doesn’t regularly freeze then spend your money on something else.
🌼Cut back summer perennials, and lift and divide them if necessary. Most perennials benefit from dividing every three to four years. Peonies are the exception. DON’T dig them up unless you need to move them.
🍁You may start to see a bit more powdery mildew popping up at this time of year. My delphiniums are prone to it, whereas they don’t really get it in spring and summer. Depending on your preference, you can treat with a suitable spray from your garden centre, or an organic option. Organic tends to work best as a preventative or early treatment option. Keep an eye out for an upcoming post for paid subscribers giving you all the details about powdery mildew and how to deal with it.
🌷Order your spring bulbs. The promotional emails from online suppliers are filling my inbox around now. SO tempting to order more, and more….and more!

Photos: powdery mildew on my delphinium’s.

What’s new on Behind the Garden Gate

🌼Nitty Gritty: this week it’s a bit of a motivational post. If you’re struggling, feeling like you’re failing at this gardening thing, then this article will help. A lot of experienced gardeners just don’t tell you what they fail at. But I do:) You’ll feel better after reading this. You’re welcome:)
😄You know those days when….: why suffer in silence, when you can complain LOUDLY and VOCIFEROUSLY about you many memorable menopause moments?
📷Snapshot Shed: as usual, more photos to help inspire your garden planning.

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m in the process of migrating my articles to Substack. It’s so much better set up for publishing this type of content, and I also think probably a much better user experience for you too. The articles I publish arrive straight to your inbox rather than you having to make an effort to head onto my members-only page to find the content. It’s just easier on Substack. I’ve realised that now, and so I encourage any of you who would like to receive my content in that way to head over and subscribe over there. I have free and paid options. Free subscriptions give you my free Sunday newsletter each week plus all the photos and notes with little tips and guidance that I add to my feed every day. Paid subscribers get all that, plus two additional articles each week with much deeper dives including garden knowledge, design tips, plant care advice, the odd recipe, and a bit of humour. You’ll find me as The Manic Botanic on Substack - not Behind the Garden Gate.

Photo below: Dahlia Melody Mambo.

I’m ready for the backlash on this one…